Half full

This 2014 I am making a concerted effort to stop, and think before I react. By just letting myself “feel” or “be in the moment” mindlessly, I have done the easy thing in the last few years. Granted, I had several years where to stop and think about anything was a luxury, but this is not the case now. I do not just have to run pell mell through the race course of life, and hope that the decisions and the way I think of things is going to in the long run work out. I do not have to do this. I do have the time to, well, take time and think. I can do this about what food I will buy, meals I will make, people I will be with and for how long.

Most important in this realization, I can look at anything that happens to me, and decide how I want to react to it. Or better, instead of react to it, what can I learn from it. Maybe I learn that I am too trusting and need to lock my car door or shut the window before I leave things in it and go into a store. Maybe I need to learn that what I purchase can either help me and add quality to my life to give to others, or it can steal this from me. I can learn that time is a precious commodity, and once that moment is gone, it can not be returned.

Best of all, I can learn to appreciate all the people who have traveled through my life, even the ones who were difficult and hurtful. The ones who brought joy and are now no longer a part of my life, I can look at what they gave me, support, love, adventures, that nobody else could bring or give to me. Not like they did, at any rate. And know that as souls touch in the earth plan of the great plan, that the energy, the light, and the passion we share or hold back will either help or hinder our process.

I have held back, a lot, over the last years of my life. The method of holding back was mindless reaction. I was tired of being hurt, but finally the message go through. My reaction was aways “stop”. If I hold back, I can not feel the good either. I will miss the pain, but also the gain. But I will allow myself to take risks, to let my gut (or soul) feelings guide me. To allow my instincts (or inner light) to illumine my path.

Oh, what an adventure this will be. Giving, finding the good, and enjoying the trip, even the packing and the change – things I do not usually enjoy. For without this, I will be doing nothing, even not existing. To exist, to be to move. Here I come…..

Shalom.

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